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There are times when a relationship reaches a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good. Can taking time apart from each other help your relationship or is taking a break simply a way to avoid certain issues that will still be there waiting for you when you get back together?

First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix.

Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.

A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self.

Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as ‘ one ‘ so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.

Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other.

Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.

Adding color to your wedding dress is extremely en vogue, but having a wedding dress of a color other than white, that is avant garde. There is no written rule that your dress must be white or a shade thereof, and they do say, black is slimming!

Wearing a black Gothic dress on your wedding day is not something that is seen every day, but even fashionista as Sarah Jessica Parker dared to wear black, so if you make this choice, you are in good fashion company.

Obviously if you are a have a Halloween themed wedding, black almost seems a natural choice, but it could be a fun way to play on a black tie event. Maybe your groom would even be willing to wear a white tux. If not, dress your bridesmaids in white to play on the color reversal.

Finding a Gothic wedding gown in black may be a challenge, but there are many alternatives. First, don’t purchase a traditional gown. Buy a black formal gown to serve as your wedding dress. If you are going black, chances are you are throwing some of tradition out the window. You can find a black evening gown that has many of the same features a wedding gown would have-full skirt, beaded bodice, even a small train. If you don’t find anything on the racks of evening gowns, look at bridesmaid’s dresses. These, just like wedding gowns come in every style, and unlike wedding gowns come in every color. You may find a bridesmaid dress from wedding gown designer that you like.

If you do find a white wedding gown that you must have, you may be able to have it dyed black. Be sure to speak with a professional. With beading and embroidery, this is certainly not a task you want to take on yourself.
Wearing unique Gothic wedding dresses is a statement for sure. But rest assured, black is one color that will never go out of style.

Getting back together after a fight or break up is always a wonderful feeling. The two of you apologized to each other, you kiss, and you hug and continue having a romantic relationship. When you do make up, it is important to remember some things:

Acknowledge the reasons for Making up. It is important not to just get caught up in the breath-taking make up session, but to remember why you had to make up in the first place -from a break up! Remember your reasons for fighting or and/or breaking up and talk to your lover about ways you can avoid the same conflict in the future.

Stick to Agreements. Once you and your partner made agreements of what changes will be made and how you will improve your relationship, stick to them! Many couples make agreements when they first make up but end up forgetting to continue with them and go back to the old pattern. If you do not respect and follow the new agreements, you will find yourselves arguing about the same issues all over again.

Don’t use Sex as a Make Up Tool. Though it may feel fantastic to make up with sex, it should not become a habit. If you make love to smooth things out every time after a fight and breakup, you will find yourselves no longer being able to get turned on without having a conflict first, which is hazardous for the relationship.

Keep the Romance Hot. Make sure your romance stays exciting and hot throughout the relationship, not just when you kiss and makeup. If you continuously show your romantic interest in your partner and vice versa, the two of you will focus on the things you love about each other instead of the things you may dislike.

Stay Made Up. Stay made up by preventing a future break up. The best way to do this is to never stop communicating. If you talk about what you are feeling and ask your partner how she or he feels about certain things, then your relationship will remain open to new ways to improve it and keep it healthy.

If you are making up after a longer separation. . .

Take it one step at a time. Obviously the two of you agreed to get back together because you wish to give your relationship another chance. You both are willing to work at it, so do not feel the need to rush into things. None of you are going anywhere; you both are sticking by each other’s side. Making up after a long separation is more sensitive, you are starting things up again and practically starting from scratch. Talk about what happened, why you broke up and why you both feel making up was the right decision. Go out on dates and get to know each other again. Do something romantic for one another as much as you can, to rekindle the feelings and reasons you fell in love in the first place. Always remember what caused you to separate in the first place and avoid getting into those situations again.

Sure, we all dream about meeting the right person. . . the one that we are meant to be with forever. Dreaming about it is all fun and easy, but the real question is, where do you find this soul mate of yours? Fate? Well yes, if you believe in fate, then yes, it will have something to do with it, but not without effort on your part. Fate needs you to give it direction so that as a team, you can find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life.

The first thing you have to do before finding your soul mate, is finding yourself. What qualities are important to you? What are your morals and beliefs? How do you show your affection and how do you expect it to be presented to you? These are questions necessary for you to ask yourself before going out there. Giving yourself an interview will make things clearer of what type of person you are really looking for, instead of just going on a blind search.

It is very common for a person to date people just for �dating�. While dating is a fun and useful experience, it is not advisable to just go out with anyone just to have a date, or to enter a relationship because you do not want to be alone. When you go out on a date, it is important that you use that date as an opportunity to observe and see if the person is someone you would like to see again and if they carry the qualities you are looking for. If, for example, if you are searching for a person who is in touch with his or her romantic side, but go on a date with someone who likes acting rough at baseball games and loves hunting, then you could pretty much see where the relationship would go. You should be able to sense these qualities after a few dates.

Once you have realized that these dates will not lead to a relationship you have dreamed of, then obviously the person is not your dream mate either, and it would be best if you stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations. Continuing to date someone just because you entered a comfort zone or do not want to hurt their feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with, not to mention waste precious time for both you and your date�s. Gently break it to him or her that you find them to be a very interesting and nice person, but you feel like going solo for a while and then move on.

Tracking down your soul mate will require patience; so do not feel frustrated or hopeless if you do not find him or her in a certain amount of time. Good things take time to be brought together and you will come together when the time is right. The time becomes right when you look out for the right signs. Such signs would be:

1. Being strongly attracted to each other physically.
2. Being strongly attracted to each other�s personalities.
3. Having common interests.
4. Sharing the same values.
5. Major respect for one another.
6. Someone who makes you feel truly special and worthy.
7. Someone who puts in a great effort to show you their passion for you and the things that is important in your life.
8. Meeting on the same emotional levels. 

These are some major and important signs to look out for when trying to track down your soul mate. It will not be difficult to realize because you will know when things are right and the way you want it. When you have found such a person, it is good for you to remember to take things one-step at a time. Sometimes people jump in too fast and end up getting hurt or realizing they jumped to conclusions a little too soon. Take it slow and observe how things are going. See if the person who seems to be perfect in every way for you, remains to carry the same qualities as the relationship proceeds.

When time has proven that the two of you are truly compatible in ways you have always dreamed of, then the relationship may go to the next level and the two of you can make a serious commitment and start focusing on building a future together. Like before, it is important that you pay attention to how you handle a commitment together and if you both agree on what kind of future the two of have in mind. Staying on the same levels is a huge sign that you are with the right person.

Finding your soul mate will the best accomplishment you will ever make, but it does not stop there. Finding the right person is just the beginning. Keeping the right person takes work too, on both your parts. The two of you will have to continue valuing each other for the rest of your lives, respecting each other�s individuality and dreams. Refresh your memory of how the two of were brought together and why you both decided to make a commitment to one another. As long as you keep the magic between you alive, your relationship will continue to grow the love and care you both never imagined could ever happen to you!

Charm is the art of having an attractive personality. This characteristic can only be achieved over a period of time. While everyone is born with differing amounts of natural charm, much can be acquired and honed through practice and patience. As with dancing, the more you practice, the better you will become.

1. Improve your posture. Throw those shoulders back and let them drop (relax). When you walk, imagine you’re crossing a finish line; the first part of your body to cross should be your torso, not your head. If you have poor posture, your head will be pushed forward, which makes you seem timid and insecure.

2. Smile With the Eyes. Scientists have pinpointed more than 50 types of smiles, and research suggests that the sincerest smile of all is the Duchenne smile–a smile that pushes up into the eyes. The reason it’s more genuine is because the muscles needed to smile with our eyes are involuntary; they only become engaged in an authentic smile, not in a “courtesy” smile.

3. Remember people’s names. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the person’s name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: “Hi Jack, I’m Wendy.” Follow through with small talk and repeat the person’s name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. It’s not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a person’s name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they’ll warm up to you. when you meet them for the first time.

4. Be genuinely interested in people. You don’t have to love everyone, but you should be curious or fascinated by people in some way. If you’re empathic, maybe you’re interested in how people feel. Or, you could be interested in how people work (psychology) or what people know (if you’re an avid learner). Learn how to ask questions based on your interests while being polite (i.e. without prying) and you’ll make people feel interesting.

5. Take into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last night’s game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. Sometimes you can build rapport just by asking questions, and not caring if you seem naive. There are people who like talking about and explaining their interests, and will like you for listening. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around, exercise an open mind, let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.

6. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.

7. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others’ self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. Because you waited, you are most likely not confident in saying what you thought, so waiting will only result in a less than enthusiastic presentation. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves (haircut, manner of dress, etc…) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.

8. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere “thank you” and enjoin this with “I’m glad you like it” or “It is so kind of you to have noticed.” These are “compliments in return.” Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response “Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation.” That is tantamount to saying, “No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.”

9. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Voice should be gentle and peaceful. Articulate and speak clearly and project your voice. When you say, “you look nice today” it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say “it’s a nice day.” Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.

Will a Liar Ever Change?

Being lied to by someone you love and felt you could trust is very painful and frustrating. You love your partner, so you find yourself forgiving his/her lies the first time, perhaps the second and third time as well, before you realize you are just involved with a liar. However, because you feel strongly for this person, it is not easy for you to break away, even though you know that is probably what is best for you. You hang on, with hope that things will change and he will not lie to you anymore. You justify staying with him by telling yourself that he is a good person and deep down you know he loves you- and that your relationship is wonderful and perfect- except when he lies.

What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.

Love is a great feeling, but only when you are in love and the person with whom you are in love is in love with you, otherwise, love can show the downside of giving a heartache and sadness that only those who have been in love and lost it know.

Lost love is enduring, actually it lasts longer than the feeling of love itself, it is like someone you connected with and the person broke the connection, but from your side it is still on, and that there is no answer is what is painful.

Dwelling on any break-up is not emotionally healthy and keeps you from re-discovering your needs and wants from a relationship. The following tips will help you move on from your break up and guide you into finding love again.

Accept the Reality. Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Do not give yourself unrealistic fantasies that you might get back together one day. Respect the fact that the relationship had its time, but has no ran out ways to work. This was a chapter in your life that has now closed and you are now ready to grow and enter another chapter of your life.

Learn from It. Everything is a learning experience, so use it your advantage! Look over your relationship and list what went good about it and what went wrong. Use these notes as a tool to improve your relationships skills.

Never Generalize. Going through a break up does cause you emotional withdrawal and pain, which may cause you to generalize everyone you meet or choose to date. Keep in mind that everyone is an individual with their own unique qualities and personalities and your encounters with them will not carry the same experiences as your ex-relationship.

Focus on You. Take some time to get to know yourself again before you get involved with

The news of having a child is a welcome blessing. It is the ultimate fulfillment of being a woman. Though pregnancy brings a lot of joy, it also entails a lot of sacrifices. Carrying a baby inside you for a whole term of 9 months, takes a lot of strength and care, at the same time. Among many complaints of women who are pregnant, back pain is the most common. This is probably just one of the different changes that occur in the body during pregnancy. This can be avoided, however, by exercises you can do to strengthen your back to avoid pain and injury. Back pain is often caused by weak core muscles. These are found at the buttocks, abdomen and back. When they are weak, you could experience discomfort at the lower part of the back. So, to strengthen your back, you have to maintain strong abdominals and quadriceps. This can be done by doing exercises as early as you can, to avoid back pain during pregnancy. Here are the some exercises; you can do repeatedly, to strengthen the back: Do a wall squat. Stand opposite to a wall with feet apart by 18 inches. Slide your back slowly down the wall to a squat position and remain at that position for a few seconds, then slide your back going up. This is a good exercise for strengthening the quadriceps, hips and back muscles. This is also good for pain experienced at the back. Do a leg and arm raise. Stand and lift an arm on one side and a leg on the opposite side, both parallel to the floor and wait for a few seconds. Do the same on the other side. This strengthens the hip and back muscles. Do the bridge. Position yourself wherein your head and neck are leaning forward. Then raise your hips upwards. Next, lower them to the floor. With the help of your buttocks, raise them up. This exercise is good for the back. If you are planning on having a baby, you can strengthen the muscles on your abdomen to support your back and to prevent pain altogether. You can try the above mentioned exercises for several minutes daily to avoid experiencing difficulty during pregnancy.

It is the event we all dream about: our wedding day. We all picture ourselves eventually settling down with the perfect partner and build a strong and wonderful married life together and even create a family. There is a lot more to marriage besides the romance and love you feel for one another. A good and healthy marriage requires effort and team work. The both of you will enter the marriage together and therefore will have to continue to precede the marriage together. Before proposing or setting that date, take time to sit down with yourself first and ask yourself the following questions:

What makes this Person the One?

Obviously your first answer will be because you love him or her. That is not the question. The question is, what makes this person, out of all the other relationships you have been in, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? It is important to make a mental list on this, to prevent yourself from entering a marriage for the wrong reasons. An example of a wrong reason would be marrying because you feel that time is running out for you. Do not pressure yourself or allow others to pressure you with the idea that you are getting old and may never have another opportunity to get married.

Prepared to play the Wife or Husband role?

Before you get too excited and jump into any marriage, first ask yourself if you are ready to be a wife or husband. Being a spouse is different than being a boyfriend, girlfriend or fiance. It requires new and more responsibilities and a lot more attention. Its not that you cannot continue to be independent, but you will have to share everything and everyone that is a part of your life if you want to have a trusting and open marriage.

Ready for a financial challenge?

Being married is not like dating where you cover the dinner bill or pay for the movie tickets. It involves new and more expensive bills. This is a subject you should discuss with your partner so that there are no unpleasant surprises later. Whether the both of you work or one of you stays at home, it is essential that you know ahead of time of how you plan to handle all financial challenges, including insurances and emergencies.

Can you stay committed and faithful?

You need to be sure that you have all your curiosities about other people out of your system. If you love your partner but still wonder how it would be to see other people, than you probably should wait to have the wedding a little later down the road. In fact, if you really feel the need to see other people, you should not be afraid to share it with your partner. Tell him or her that it has nothing to do with your love for them, but you need to see if this chapter is closed for good. Being able to commit and stay faithful is one of the biggest things that will keep your marriage together.

Can you live with his/her lifestyles?

If you do not already live together, then really pay attention to your partner’s habits and way of living. Though you cannot know everything there is to know about a person, it is good to get an idea. If he or she has certain habits that drive you crazy, it can be worked out with effort on both your parts. However, if you feel you can never get along with certain things, then perhaps the two of you should continue dating and getting to each other before making any big decisions.

These are only some questions you should definitely find answers to before getting married. If you are confused on any of them or cannot find an answer, then do not get married until you do. If you want a marriage that will be happy, healthy and last forever, you should never involve yourself in a marriage until you decide you are truly ready for it.

Figuring out what men really desire is never easy, since men come in different variations. However, regardless of what category a man falls in, there are standard things that every man is looking for in a woman. Are you the type of woman that men dream about being with? We all want to be an object of desire- the kind of woman that men talk about, dream about and long to be with. We all want to be chased and admired by men and to be appreciated, respected and admired for our existence, appearance, personality and accomplishments.

So what do men really desire in a woman and are you that woman? Well, the first and most important thing to remember is to:

Be Real- be who you really are, rather than try to be what you think you should be or who you think people want you to be. It is easy to sense a real person from an artificial one and one of the main turn offs for a man is a woman who is not herself and gives off a fake vibe.

Have Confidence: Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who is confident and feels comfortable and happy in her skin. A woman who feels good about herself is a woman most likely with a good head on her shoulders, rational, focused and has good direction in life. If a woman does not have confidence in herself, then a man feels and sees no reason to have confidence in either and he will not want to invest his time and effort in a woman he will have to baby sit emotionally all the time.

Dress Fashionably: Wearing the most expensive apparel is not the most important thing to a man, but it is important that a woman keep up with her appearances. A woman who dresses sharply comes off as a woman who is successful and who treats herself with love and respect and therefore a man will not want to do less for her either- he will love and respect you too. So be sure to keep yourself updated with fashion and keep yourself well groomed. This will not only draw men to you, but you will also feel good about yourself- which is the first priority before you please anyone else! And remember, dress sexy, but classy as well- and always leave something to the imagination.

Express Intellect – Being desirable to a man is not just about having a pretty face or shapely figure. A woman with intelligence is important to and a man wants to be with a woman who will have something to talk about and who will teach him new things, just as he will teach you new things. Everyone is unique and has their own personal talents and areas of higher intelligence than others- so be sure to express that side of yourself to prove that you do have the whole package- an attractive appearance along with other intellectual surprises. Share your hobbies, share things you have learned through your life experiences and show what he has been missing out on before he met you!

Be Sweet and Feminine – Okay, today women are more independent and career oriented, but that does not mean we should have to give up and forget our feminine roots. Women are delicate creatures after all- we are sweet and giving and it is important for a man to see these qualities in a woman. It is not weak to show a man that you are sweet and care taking- after all, this is the type of woman a man dreams coming home to- someone who will lovingly welcome him home with a sweet feminine smile and take care of him. Never lose your special feminine roots- show him your sweet and romantic side.

Tell him what you want – It is understandable that you want a man who will treat you beautifully without you having to give him directions- and you should never lower your standards when it comes to this. However, you also have to remember that men cannot read minds and let’s face- we women are emotionally unpredictable creatures and are not always easy to read. Men love it when a woman has the strength and confidence to tell him what she wants. Men want to please women, sp do not be afraid to open up and let him know what it is important to you.

Stay Glamorous – This does not mean that you should walk on eggshells and worry about your looks all the time. You should feel secure enough in your relationship to know that even when you are not made up, your man will still adore you and will not look at other women. However, this does not mean you should let yourself go and not care about the things that were once important to you. Relationship usually start going downhill when one or both partners stop caring about the little things, such as dressing up for each other, little romantic gestures and so on. So, remember the little things and always keep your self-confidence in tune by taking care of yourself- and your partner will automatically keep admiring you!

Like Your Body – Men love a woman who loves her body. A woman who walks around feeling good about her body and knowing that her body is beautiful is incredibly sexy to a man and make him curious and eager to get to know that woman. So be sure to build your physical confidence and focus on bringing out your best features. Nobody is prefect- everyone has flaws, but that does not mean that you should advertise your flaws. Get to know yourself and find your strong physical points and bring them out for the world to see and admire. If there are parts of your body that you believe could use some help, then do something about rather than complain.

Why we subconsciously avoid the truth in relationships?

There are things we want to know about in our romantic relationships- and then there are things we don’t want to know. We may think and believe that we want to know anything and everything about our partner, but the truth is- we are not ready and willing to accept the reality of lust, love and relationships- because if we were, we would not get so upset over so many things.

Understanding the reality of love and relationships is the key that will help you achieve the true happiness that you claim you want to have in your life. So what is the reality when it comes to love and relationships?

Freedom!

Yes, that’s right- love is free. Until you accept this reality, you will never be happy. As soon as a relationship involves one or two people trying to change each other and control certain things, it is no longer free and love without freedom cannot really be defined as true love. You have heard it all before and have probably even said it yourself that love should be unconditional. You may have even told someone that you love them unconditionally, or have been told that you are love unconditionally. Why then do we put so many conditions in our romantic love relationships? As a society, we are taught that love is pure, loyal, faithful, passionate and unconditional, yet most of us rarely apply those things in the long run of a relationship. We say love is all those things because that is what we want love to be like for us. These qualities in a love relationship make us feel safe, secure and special and everyone wants to feel this way. However, what we often to do not take the time realize and care about is the fact that we are always focus on how we can achieve all this unconditional love from someone, rather than how we can achieve at giving it. It is only natural though, which also means one thing: the person you truly love unconditionally in a romantic relationship is yourself !

As selfish as it may sound, it is true. When you are out looking for a perfect partner, you are looking for someone who will treat “you” right, who will love “you”, be faithful to “you”, feel most attracted to “you”, as well as someone who will accept “you” just the way “you” are. We are al looking out for ourselves, looking for a relationship we will feel be a healthy and worthy investment that will result in us getting what we want. In return, we will of course love our partners back (and genuinely), but not for free. Love is not something we just give out like charity. Our love is precious and must be earned. We have to feel convinced that someone is worth our time, and worth sharing our emotional and physical being with. We are constantly observing our partners behaviors and trying to calculate whether they are meeting up to “our expectations”- and if they are not, we try to find ways to alter our relationship until it feels like a perfect fit.

Honestly, there is no perfect fit. You cannot custom make a relationship to fit your needs and desires only. This is because a relationship involves two people, two individuals. It may seem obvious and cliché to mention that it takes compromise in order to make a relationship work, but it is still very necessary to say. You must remind yourself over and over again that true love is about working together and accepting your partner who he/she really is- not accepting him/her as the person you custom designed (or wish you could custom design anyway). Again, this may sound like common sense, and it is, but most us are not applying that, for if we were, we would be enjoying true relationship bliss.

So, how can you truly be happy and feel secure in a relationship? By accepting reality and choosing the truth over lies. You may claim you want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you), but in a way, you want to be lied to. As crazy as it sounds, we all want to live some sort of illusion. We need that fluffy soft love cloud called” illusion” to land on so we can feel special and avoid pain, because let’s face it- certain truths do hurt and stab us in our emotional hearts.

The good news is you don’t have to want to be lied to anymore! You can be strong and brave enough to take in the whole truth and reality of life and still be happy, satisfied and completely confident about yourself while in a relationship with someone.

The following are some truths you would normally want to be lied to over or in denial about, but can now understand and accept:

• Your partner will not change! Yes, people do evolve and do make certain changes (or adaptations) in time, but there are also certain personality traits that a person will always carry. If you really want to be with someone, you have to accept right from the start that they are who they are. Entering a relationship with the hope and goal to change your partner in some way will only end in disappointment for you, not to mention your partner will eventually resent you for trying to change him/her- and will probably rebel too- or leave eventually.
• Being in Love does not Equal blind! When two people fall in love, all they want to do is be with each other all the time. However, it is important to understand that just because you and your partner may be in love, it does not mean one or both of you will not still find other people attractive. This is normal and natural, but does not mean that you are all of a sudden less attractive to your partner. Love and casual attraction are very different and you should not feel threatened by this (unless your partner crossed the line in any way). So just enjoy being in love and building a life with your love and do not obsess about who he or she may find attractive. This will only turn you into a jealous person ad will also influence your partner to walk on eggshells around you and even lie.
• Your partner is still an Individual! Though you may be a “couple”, you are still two separate people. And while you both may share most things in common, there will still certain interests and hobbies your partner will have and want to enjoy on his/her own- and this is not something you should feel worried about or offended by. Doing things separately from time to time and fulfilling your individual goals is healthy and should be supported in a relationship. So do not expect to be attached at the hip all the time- let your partner practice and enjoy their individuality too!

As you can see, these are very logical and seemingly easy tips to follow but without the occasional reminder, we can all find ourselves having relationship trouble over these little logical things. So just give yourself a reminder once in a while and remember to acknowledge the truth of your relationship, rather than lie to yourself about how you wish things could be or how you think they should be.

Tips to Being Sexy

We all want to be sexy at some point in our lives and I think it’s important to point out the tips to be sexy. Sexiness comes from within, you have to feel it but you can always display it as well. It doesn’t matter if you have short hair, long hair, if you are bald, if you are tall or short, skinny or normal shaped. Because to be sexy is about appeal and projecting that sex appeal to others. So are you sexy? If not, here are the tips to become sexy, if so, and then these tips will help you enhance your sex appeal.

How to be sexy;

1. You have to feel sexy to be sexy. You don’t have to be beautiful to be sexy. Find your inner confidence, put on some killer clothes that make you feel sexy and feel the inner soul of foxiness come from within

2.   Be a flirt. Yes, be a flirt, touch when you are talking, slowly and softly  (not too much) just enough. Flirt like a professional not a beginner, wink when appropriate, lick your lips, play with your hair and whisper or purr in their ear. Or send a simple smile that speaks “sexy.”

3.  Dress the part. Yes, you have to dress the part of a sultry, foxy, sexy vixen if you want to be sexy. Wear the clothes that make you feel sexy, shorter skirt, wear a thong or men, tighter jeans, whatever makes you feel good, and then it will work.

4.  Be fun. Sounds simple but how many of us are thinking of the work we have to do. All the stuff we need to finish, well, forget that and just be fun. Look at your life and find humor, learn to laugh at yourself, be friendly, be fun, and laugh.

5.  Women, wear sexy lingerie, it will make you feel sultry and foxy. Married, dating, single, it doesn’t matter buy some good lingerie, you are worth it.

6.  Men & Women, clean up down there. Yes, sad but true but keeping it trimmed is important. Hair is overrated and really, it’s time to step it up and groom yourself, it’s sly, pretty, yet appealing in all the right places.

7.  Be a Tease. Men & Women, being a tease is clever, I am not saying be a slut but teasing is attractive when done appropriately. Learn to tease the right way, by kissing your partner’s ear, nibbling on his/her neck, slightly rubbing your bodies together. Teasing is intense arousal but keep it at that level to be a tease, going all the way immediately takes the fun out of teasing, plus you turn into a slut at that point. Being a tease will keep them coming back, it’s about arousal at many different levels.

8.  Walk with purpose. Yep, walking with a little shake never hurt anyone. Walk with confidence, walk with your shoulders back and be confident in your stride. Walking is pure sex appeal for men and women, walk with a purpose.

9.  Be Tempting. Be Persuasive. Be Alluring. Talk while you are enticing your guest, tempt with food, allure with music, pursue with purpose.

10. Be original. Sounds easy but really, if you want to be sexy then find your inner sexiness and be original with it. Work on it and find what works for you. Some are pure sex kittens but others are funny sexy people an others are mysterious sexy vixens, find what works for you.

First, find your confidence and then start with the top ten steps above. Sexiness comes from within, look deep, find your confidence and let the sexiness flow from you. Second, don’t get hung up on your flaws, tall, short, fat or thin, forget about your flaws and start working on your sexiness. Third, tantalizing sex appeal is fun so experiment with it. Lastly, talk with your friends (of opposite sex) and let them help you find that sex appeal and learn how to project that sexiness. Anyone can be sexy, just start working on it.